Politics

Robert De Niro Appears On ‘SNL’ To Play Robert Mueller Interrogating Michael Cohen In Hysterical Cold Open

This week’s Saturday Night Live cold open didn’t have Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump. However, it did have two major cameos: Ben Stiller playing Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen and Robert De Niro playing Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Kate McKinnon also reprised her impression of Attorney General Jeff Sessions and Beck Bennett reprised his impression of Mike Pence.

Stiller’s Cohen was anxious about his impending interrogation with Mueller, reacting to the FBI raids of his home and office. “You know how much evidence I have in my office? I’m Donald Trump’s lawyer. I have an entire hard drive that’s just labeled ‘yikes!’” He also called Trump the “smartest, kindest, sexiest, least colluding man” on the planet.

De Niro made his appearance halfway through, hooking Stiller’s Cohen up to a polygraph. “I’ll start with some easy ones,” he said. “How’d you like that pee pee tape?”

Cohen is alarmed but Mueller immediately says that he is joking and says, “We’ll get to that later.”

Mueller then asks if Trump paid off Stormy Daniels; when Cohen answers no, the needles on the machine start moving furiously. “I think you’re lying,” says Mueller.

“It was a surprise for Stormy — like a gift…like a rock you throw through a window with a note tied to it that says ‘stop talking’,” says Cohen in regards to the $130,000 pay off he gave to Trump’s alleged adult star mistress. From there, the sketch became the lie detector scene from Meet the Parents — but with Trumpian scandal flair.

At one point, Cohen says, “I just try to milk information out of people.”

“Did you say milk?” asks Mueller. “I have nipples can you milk me?

As Cohen accuses Mueller that his team isn’t against Trump, Mueller admits that they have nicknames for people for everyone in the administration.

“Trump used to be ‘Putin’s Little Bitch’ now it’s ‘Stormy’s Little Bitch,” Mueller admits. He then goes down the list saying that Ivanka’s codename is “Girlfriend” while Jared is called “Other Girlfriend.” Don Jr. and Eric Trump are referred to as “Two Fredos.” When Cohen asks his name, Mueller says, “Dead Man Walking.”

Not trying to hide what this sketch was trying to do, Mueller says, “We’re gonna catch all you little Fockers!”

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Nicole James
meet the author

Nicole James is a lifelong Democrat and political activist who first cut her teeth as a teenager volunteering for Mike Dukakis’ presidential campaign. She has worked and volunteered for John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, HFA (Hillary For America) and Organizing For Action. She’s passionate about liberal and progressive causes, and considers President Obama her most favorite president ever. She holds her Bachelor’s from Boston College and her Master’s from Columbia University, both in Economics. When not working as a writer, she enjoys traveling and spending time with her three teenagers.

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